WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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