If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
