that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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