he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
