please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
why is half of my head shaved?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
