ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
did i just pee glitter
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
