he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
