Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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