Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
