Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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