Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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