We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
