Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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