im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
