I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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