Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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