I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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