lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
