dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
