Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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