Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize