If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
