i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
