i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
