I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
