Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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