He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
