i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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