my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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