just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This is the high leading the old right now
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
