You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
