ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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