Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
