i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
