We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm too high and old for this...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
