Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
