Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
