i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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