Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize