I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
