If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
