I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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