he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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