..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
