I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
