I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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