Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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