she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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