Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
