OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
