We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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