He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
