ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
