Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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