then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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