My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
