I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
