it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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