I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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