if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
