we're making bets on your personal life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
