Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He felt like a one man threesome
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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