i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I look better un-naked...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I could fuck to npr.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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