Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
