you traded sex for a burrito?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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