belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What drink are we having for lunch?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
