he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
